Friday, August 12, 2011

48 hours

At this point I've been awake for 48 hours. I'm being painfully reminded of two years ago when I could only manage to fall asleep on my couch in the living room and only after the sun had finally risen. At one point, I had gone 60 hours without sleep. I remember laying on my couch like a zombie, watching late night television. I fought sleep every single time I felt it creep up on me.

I remember how it felt; how my body had screeched with adrenaline every time I felt my eyes shut; and how my heart raced with terror, jolting me awake. I remember crying hour after hour wanting nothing but to fall asleep for a little while but feeling nothing but cold sweats and clammy hands every time I felt myself drifting off.

Two years and I'm right back where I was.

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